Let's See Where This Goes

Someone asked me what I do for a living the other day, and I jokingly said I drink coffee professionally. I thought I was kidding, but, as I said it, I realized it was distressingly accurate.

I get paid to drink coffee and look at shit on the internet. My job doesn't sound so bad phrased thusly. Too bad there's not enough shit on the internet to keep me entertained all day. Well, without looking at porn...

I feel like putting words out there today, but I have no important message to share. Consequently, I will ramble aimlessly.

I'm debating the obligatory end of the year lists but:

1. I don't know what to list.
2. Every website does lists, no one wants to read them.
3. All lists must have at least 3 points.

Nevertheless, I feel compelled to list things. It's the end of the year. A blog must have lists.

Obsessive compulsion demands it, just like when I watch Dirty Jobs, I must clean my apartment.

I love Dirty Jobs -- except the episodes that feature testicular violence.

I just got sidetracked by an idea!

TV shows that I watch:

1. Always Sunny In Philadelphia - My favorite show.

2. No Reservations - Tony Bourdain kicks ass.

3. Planet Earth - they had reruns earlier this week. It was great. I could watch sharks leaping out of the water to chomp seals all day. Is it weird to root for the cheetah/crocodile/shark to catch it's prey? I don't care for gazelles, yaks, buffalo, insert your preferred herbivore here. I watch the lions tearing into some unfortunate animal and think, 'I wonder what impala tastes like. I bet if you grilled that shit with some cumin...'

4. Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe - It frequently makes my skin crawl - seriously, I almost always end up cleaning after watching an episode, but it's a good show.

5. Gordon Ramsey's F Word - He's a prick and his other shows suck. This one is good, though.

6. The first 30 seconds of any of Giada What'shername's shows to see if she's wearing something low cut.

7. Good Eats - Only with DVR, so I can skip any all the skits, puppets, overly talky shit.

8. I was hoping to make it to 10, but I ran out of ideas.

TV shows that I don't watch

1. Last One Standing - because the new season is only being shown in fucking England and it pisses me the fuck off!

2. Lost - I'm done with Lost. I just don't care what happens, unless the secret, great big revelation is that Kate gets naked.

3. The Office - It's inclusion on this list could be a shocker, but I've only seen one episode this season that was funny. All the rest were tedious re-hashings of the previous seasons. Michael is dumb and awkward, Jim's a puss, Dwight is weird. Meh. It got old. I appreciate that it gave me the phrase, "Beer me a Long Island iced tea' but that was from the one funny episode this season.

4. 30 Rock - I've tried. Other than Tracy Morgan, I don't understand why people like this. Sorry, Mitch. And, I only like Alec Baldwin when he's berating his fat, pig daughter.

I'm tired of writing lists now.

I saw this earlier:

http://www.minorleagueball.com/2008/12/30/705225/houston-astros-top-20-pros

It's a bad sign that our second best prospect had an ERA in the neighborhood of 6.00 Last year. Yeah, yeah he converted to the outfield and started to hit some. Whatever.

D