http://houston.astros.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080829&content_id=3387169&vkey=news_hou&fext=.jsp&c_id=hou
Bad Ed Wade! Bad! No! You do not sign old, shitty outfielders to 1.75 million dollar extensions when you could replace them with almost any career AAA player and get identical (or better!) production for 300,000 dollars!
I was an English major. I took one economics class in my life. It was taught by a dyslexic redneck. She would frequently use equations with b and d as variables, but she could not consistently distinguish which one was which. I didn't learn a fucking thing about economics.
But even I realize Ed Wade has a terrible fucking grasp of the subject.
D
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Now, that's too bold, ESPN!
ESPN had some tools make college football picks.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/preview08/news/story?page=ncfpredictions08
Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but they prefaced the list of picks with the header:
Fearless Predictions for 2008
Here's the fucking problem:
Colin Cowherd ESPN Radio
Bob Davie ESPN Analyst
Rece Davis ESPN TV
Jim DonnanE SPNU Analyst
Big 12 North Big 12 South Big 12 Champ
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
They all chose the exact same fucking picks, the exact same ball-less picks.
Wait, wait Rece Davis broke from the herd to predict Miami (Ohio) will win the MAC East, everybody else went with Bowling Green. Oh my, what controversy, how fearless!
D
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/preview08/news/story?page=ncfpredictions08
Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but they prefaced the list of picks with the header:
Fearless Predictions for 2008
Here's the fucking problem:
Colin Cowherd ESPN Radio
Bob Davie ESPN Analyst
Rece Davis ESPN TV
Jim DonnanE SPNU Analyst
Big 12 North Big 12 South Big 12 Champ
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
Missouri Oklahoma Oklahoma
They all chose the exact same fucking picks, the exact same ball-less picks.
Wait, wait Rece Davis broke from the herd to predict Miami (Ohio) will win the MAC East, everybody else went with Bowling Green. Oh my, what controversy, how fearless!
D
Monday, August 25, 2008
What Have I Gotten Myself Into?
I have to root for these guys?
Titans
Let's analyze this team.
QB - VY, the man. Needs to get his shit together. Sonofabitch, Vince Young, start playing better! There appears to be some risk that you'll lose your starting job to Kerry Collins. He's about as old as Vinny Testaverde!
RB - The lone bright spot on this team is Chris Johnson. Apparently, he's fast as fuck. He's put up some pretty solid pre-season rushing numbers, and some good kick returns. Lendale White is fat.
FB - No one cares.
WR - These guys suck. Justin Gage is the best receiver we(ugh)'ve got, and he put up a career year last season with 55 catches, 750 yards, and 2 whole TDs. Shit.
TE - Alge Crumpler used to be good. Until I looked at the depth chart, I didn't know he was on the team, I didn't know what position he played, and I couldn't have told you what team he had played for before, but I definitely knew he was a football player. It's tough to say whether or not he's still good. Last year, he had whatever sack of crap (read: Joey Harrington, the walking corpse formerly known as Byron Leftwich, etc) Atlanta dragged out on the field that week to play QB overthrowing, underthrowing, or not throwing at all to him. So he might still be good. Unfortunately, he's going to have VY overthrowing, underthrowing, or not throwing to him this year. It could be years before Crumpler plays with a QB good enough for us to tell if he's washed up or not. Bo Scaife is another of their TEs. He dropped a lot of passes last year.
O-Line - I know nothing about any of them. Nor do I care. I will blame them for all of VY's struggles. It's going to be tough to explain how it was their fault when Vince throws into triple coverage despite having plenty of time in the pocket and no imminent pass rush, but I'm gonna try.
Defense:
LDE: Jevon Kearse. My reaction upon discovering this: 'Jevon Kearse? He's playing for the Titans, now? Well, I know his name. He used to be good, let's just check his stats from last year... Oh. I see.' He played in 14 games last year and made 12 tackles. Not so hot. Moving on.
LDT: Never heard of him.
RDT: Haynesworth - stepped on somebody's face.
RDE - Vanden Bosch - looks like a Nazi.
LBs - Never heard of any of them except Keith Bulluck.
CB - Nope, never heard of them.
SS - Who's that?
FS - Michael Griffin! Played for Texas! Woo.
Special Teams - I don't even begin to care.
Are you ready for some football!? Eh, I guess.
D
Titans
Let's analyze this team.
QB - VY, the man. Needs to get his shit together. Sonofabitch, Vince Young, start playing better! There appears to be some risk that you'll lose your starting job to Kerry Collins. He's about as old as Vinny Testaverde!
RB - The lone bright spot on this team is Chris Johnson. Apparently, he's fast as fuck. He's put up some pretty solid pre-season rushing numbers, and some good kick returns. Lendale White is fat.
FB - No one cares.
WR - These guys suck. Justin Gage is the best receiver we(ugh)'ve got, and he put up a career year last season with 55 catches, 750 yards, and 2 whole TDs. Shit.
TE - Alge Crumpler used to be good. Until I looked at the depth chart, I didn't know he was on the team, I didn't know what position he played, and I couldn't have told you what team he had played for before, but I definitely knew he was a football player. It's tough to say whether or not he's still good. Last year, he had whatever sack of crap (read: Joey Harrington, the walking corpse formerly known as Byron Leftwich, etc) Atlanta dragged out on the field that week to play QB overthrowing, underthrowing, or not throwing at all to him. So he might still be good. Unfortunately, he's going to have VY overthrowing, underthrowing, or not throwing to him this year. It could be years before Crumpler plays with a QB good enough for us to tell if he's washed up or not. Bo Scaife is another of their TEs. He dropped a lot of passes last year.
O-Line - I know nothing about any of them. Nor do I care. I will blame them for all of VY's struggles. It's going to be tough to explain how it was their fault when Vince throws into triple coverage despite having plenty of time in the pocket and no imminent pass rush, but I'm gonna try.
Defense:
LDE: Jevon Kearse. My reaction upon discovering this: 'Jevon Kearse? He's playing for the Titans, now? Well, I know his name. He used to be good, let's just check his stats from last year... Oh. I see.' He played in 14 games last year and made 12 tackles. Not so hot. Moving on.
LDT: Never heard of him.
RDT: Haynesworth - stepped on somebody's face.
RDE - Vanden Bosch - looks like a Nazi.
LBs - Never heard of any of them except Keith Bulluck.
CB - Nope, never heard of them.
SS - Who's that?
FS - Michael Griffin! Played for Texas! Woo.
Special Teams - I don't even begin to care.
Are you ready for some football!? Eh, I guess.
D
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Holy Fuck This Is Funny
http://www.bloggingwv.com/corn-fed-venison-it-looked-good-on-paper/
Far and away the funniest story about deer I've ever read.
Fucking funny. I was howling.
Far and away the funniest story about deer I've ever read.
Fucking funny. I was howling.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Greatest Athlete
In response to Lane's comment, worthy of a whole post:
"I just heard Jason Whitlock give out his list of greatest athletes and put Lebron James at #9, higher than Bo Jackson at #10.
Do you see why I hate Whitlock?"
I'm not a Jason Whitlock fan, but I'll say, initially, with many, many caveats to follow, I don't think that listing is so egregious. I haven't looked at his full list. I'll do so and comment on it directly tomorrow at work.
It's a helluva good question, though. Of course, you have to define athlete. Is it just being an athletic freak? Lebron and Bo both qualify. But sprinters and decathaletes and weightlifters and gymnasts would merit consideration.
But one must confront the undeniable fact that the United States' most gifted genetic freaks are all playing football and basketball. You can't tell me that if our football players had instead focused on track and field, that they wouldn't be some of the best in the world.
Also, does winning matter?
Neither Lebron or Bo won anything (well, Lebron hasn't yet).
Carl Lewis probably deserves some consideration on winning not to mention athletic freakiness.
But should it be all winning? Would that make Michael Phelps number one? Not to belittle his achievements, too much, but it's easier to win a fuck load of medals when your sport gives out a fuckload of medals. It's a helluva thing to win as many as he has, but this shit about giving out medals for using different strokes in races is kinda goofy. Different distances, I understand that. It resonates. But different strokes? Eh, why not just use the fastest one? There's no gold medal for the 400 m backwards run. An aside, fuck that speed walking bullshit. That's all kinds of retarded. It's worse than curling.
If it's a balance of winning and athleticism, my gut reaction is to choose Michael Jordan.
How do you weight certain attributes? Jordan won a lot and jumped high (not as high as high jumpers), but there's this Iranian weightlifter, Hossein Rezazadeh, that has clean and jerked 580 lbs. He's put nearly 600 lbs up over his head -- damn quick, too. That's fucking insane. It's a world damn record. It's more than a quarter of a ton. He's a helluva an athlete. He's also fat as shit. How does he rank? Jordan and Bo and Lebron are freaks, but none could come close to doing what Rezazadeh did.
Does the list of great athletes go across eras? Jim Thorpe comes to mind. I don't know fuck all about him except that he supposedly won in a lot of different events. Also, he's got some sort of Oklahoma connection. Don't remember how precisely.
It's awfully hard to compare across eras. People are hugely bigger, faster, and stronger nowadays. But you can't say whether or not historic athletes would or wouldn't have been equally as accomplished with the benefit of modern training.
It comes down to one's own personal definition of athlete, and it's all arbitrary and meaningless list making. Fun, though.
No one's right or wrong. Except me. And I'm right. I'll see about putting a list of athletes together tomorrow to provide a definitive answer on the matter.
D
"I just heard Jason Whitlock give out his list of greatest athletes and put Lebron James at #9, higher than Bo Jackson at #10.
Do you see why I hate Whitlock?"
I'm not a Jason Whitlock fan, but I'll say, initially, with many, many caveats to follow, I don't think that listing is so egregious. I haven't looked at his full list. I'll do so and comment on it directly tomorrow at work.
It's a helluva good question, though. Of course, you have to define athlete. Is it just being an athletic freak? Lebron and Bo both qualify. But sprinters and decathaletes and weightlifters and gymnasts would merit consideration.
But one must confront the undeniable fact that the United States' most gifted genetic freaks are all playing football and basketball. You can't tell me that if our football players had instead focused on track and field, that they wouldn't be some of the best in the world.
Also, does winning matter?
Neither Lebron or Bo won anything (well, Lebron hasn't yet).
Carl Lewis probably deserves some consideration on winning not to mention athletic freakiness.
But should it be all winning? Would that make Michael Phelps number one? Not to belittle his achievements, too much, but it's easier to win a fuck load of medals when your sport gives out a fuckload of medals. It's a helluva thing to win as many as he has, but this shit about giving out medals for using different strokes in races is kinda goofy. Different distances, I understand that. It resonates. But different strokes? Eh, why not just use the fastest one? There's no gold medal for the 400 m backwards run. An aside, fuck that speed walking bullshit. That's all kinds of retarded. It's worse than curling.
If it's a balance of winning and athleticism, my gut reaction is to choose Michael Jordan.
How do you weight certain attributes? Jordan won a lot and jumped high (not as high as high jumpers), but there's this Iranian weightlifter, Hossein Rezazadeh, that has clean and jerked 580 lbs. He's put nearly 600 lbs up over his head -- damn quick, too. That's fucking insane. It's a world damn record. It's more than a quarter of a ton. He's a helluva an athlete. He's also fat as shit. How does he rank? Jordan and Bo and Lebron are freaks, but none could come close to doing what Rezazadeh did.
Does the list of great athletes go across eras? Jim Thorpe comes to mind. I don't know fuck all about him except that he supposedly won in a lot of different events. Also, he's got some sort of Oklahoma connection. Don't remember how precisely.
It's awfully hard to compare across eras. People are hugely bigger, faster, and stronger nowadays. But you can't say whether or not historic athletes would or wouldn't have been equally as accomplished with the benefit of modern training.
It comes down to one's own personal definition of athlete, and it's all arbitrary and meaningless list making. Fun, though.
No one's right or wrong. Except me. And I'm right. I'll see about putting a list of athletes together tomorrow to provide a definitive answer on the matter.
D
Monday, August 18, 2008
Am I Ready For Some Football?
I think so.
It's about time for some football to start. I got my fantasy cheat sheet assembled today. I learned the names of several dozen WRs, RBs, and especially TEs who are new to me, and I'm ready to tear that shit up.
I did my research and now have definite opinions on players I've never seen play, or, often, even heard of until today.
Also, I still have lingering anger and resentment toward the following players:
Frank Gore
Joey Galloway
Anquan Boldin
Lee Evans -- he got passed around like the cheapest of cheap whores last year, and it seemed like he always had a good game after I dropped him.
Shaun Alexander - fuck you baldy!
When in doubt, I will make my picks based on the satisfaction I get from the player's name.
For example:
TJ Houshmanzadeh -- I can't fucking spell it, but I love saying things like 'Shit, I can win this week if I get a good game out of the Housh'
Ronnie Brown, Ryan Grant, Calvin Johnson and Greg Jennings just sound like football players to me.
Aaron Rodgers and Kellen Winslow are little bitches and I hope neither ends up on my team. Little danger of that with Rodgers, but I might have to take Winslow at some point. I would not like that.
I hope I don't end up with Good Adrian Peterson so I don't have to root for that Sooner fuck, but if I end up with him, I hope he rushes for about 12,000 yards this season and 58 touchdowns. Then I want him to break a leg on his last carry of the season.
Actually, that's kinda mean. Seriously, fuck OU, though.
It's about time for some football to start. I got my fantasy cheat sheet assembled today. I learned the names of several dozen WRs, RBs, and especially TEs who are new to me, and I'm ready to tear that shit up.
I did my research and now have definite opinions on players I've never seen play, or, often, even heard of until today.
Also, I still have lingering anger and resentment toward the following players:
Frank Gore
Joey Galloway
Anquan Boldin
Lee Evans -- he got passed around like the cheapest of cheap whores last year, and it seemed like he always had a good game after I dropped him.
Shaun Alexander - fuck you baldy!
When in doubt, I will make my picks based on the satisfaction I get from the player's name.
For example:
TJ Houshmanzadeh -- I can't fucking spell it, but I love saying things like 'Shit, I can win this week if I get a good game out of the Housh'
Ronnie Brown, Ryan Grant, Calvin Johnson and Greg Jennings just sound like football players to me.
Aaron Rodgers and Kellen Winslow are little bitches and I hope neither ends up on my team. Little danger of that with Rodgers, but I might have to take Winslow at some point. I would not like that.
I hope I don't end up with Good Adrian Peterson so I don't have to root for that Sooner fuck, but if I end up with him, I hope he rushes for about 12,000 yards this season and 58 touchdowns. Then I want him to break a leg on his last carry of the season.
Actually, that's kinda mean. Seriously, fuck OU, though.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Take That You Greece-y Bastards
http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summer08/basketball/men/recap?gameId=776
Ha, isn't that the worst title ever?
I watched twenty minutes of the game this morning. The US was abusing the Greek team, and we still aren't shooting 3s well. Dwight Howard was in foul trouble, so we had a size disadvantage, too.
Didn't matter.
I've said it before, but I enjoy the hell out of the US Basketball team. It's an amazing assemblage of talent, and I know I'm about the only person in the US watching these games. Aside from the obnoxious fucks looking at box scores, waiting to jump on the US if they lose or don't win by enough., The US team is a no win situation.
If the US loses, snotty, small, fat sportswriters will churn out bullshit stories about those selfish NBA players that don't play team basketball (subtext, they're black). If they win, that's what they were supposed to do all along, and they probably didn't win by a suitably high margin.
I'll restrain myself from additional social commentary (with great difficulty)...
Also, Dwyane Wade continues to play fucking great. I'm definitely snagging him for my fantasy team this year.
D
Ha, isn't that the worst title ever?
I watched twenty minutes of the game this morning. The US was abusing the Greek team, and we still aren't shooting 3s well. Dwight Howard was in foul trouble, so we had a size disadvantage, too.
Didn't matter.
I've said it before, but I enjoy the hell out of the US Basketball team. It's an amazing assemblage of talent, and I know I'm about the only person in the US watching these games. Aside from the obnoxious fucks looking at box scores, waiting to jump on the US if they lose or don't win by enough., The US team is a no win situation.
If the US loses, snotty, small, fat sportswriters will churn out bullshit stories about those selfish NBA players that don't play team basketball (subtext, they're black). If they win, that's what they were supposed to do all along, and they probably didn't win by a suitably high margin.
I'll restrain myself from additional social commentary (with great difficulty)...
Also, Dwyane Wade continues to play fucking great. I'm definitely snagging him for my fantasy team this year.
D
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Test Post
Dropping the 'and Mitch.' Mitch, you're quite welcome to continue posting. I'm just tired of typing D at the end of shit.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I Hate Thinking Up Titles
So, how about those Olympics? It's all synchronized diving, douche-bags in top hats riding horses in circles, and soccer teams from countries I've never heard of locked in epic 0-0 ties.
Also, I find the women beach volleyball players to be insufficiently attractive.
Who the fuck chooses the programming on this shit? There's some badass sports in the Olympics. Judo, basketball, weightlifting, sprinting, shit with guns, shit with swords... Yet every time I flipped by last night they were showing pairs of anorexic, 14 year old boys diving in unison while some catty bitch rambled about synchonicity. Fuck!
I did catch a couple minutes of this game that combined indoor soccer and basketball. The announcers never deigned to mention the name of this bizarre sport, but it looked pretty bad ass. Mainly, I liked that players were allowed to wing the ball as hard as they could at un-padded goalies. Also, unlike soccer, goals were frequently scored.
More Astros Stuff I Promised Not To Write About But Couldn't Help It:
Astros back at .500
Seriously, what the fuck? How is that miserable fucking team at .500? We've allowed 36 more runs than we've scored.
I haven't watched more than a couple innings at a time in a month. Every time I try and watch, Oswalt gives up a three run homer. I looked at the stats today to try and figure out how this team is at .500.
There are no answers in the stats.
Man, Bourn and Towles have been bad. Darin Erstad has gotten 200 ABs. Pence has been mediocre. Tejada is underwhelming. Matsui has been adequate.
Lee had been killing it, and Wigginton has been much better than I expected. He's got an OPS north of .850. Quite solid.
Moehler and Wandy have been our best pitchers, but neither is dominating.
Nothing about this team says .500.
Also, I find the women beach volleyball players to be insufficiently attractive.
Who the fuck chooses the programming on this shit? There's some badass sports in the Olympics. Judo, basketball, weightlifting, sprinting, shit with guns, shit with swords... Yet every time I flipped by last night they were showing pairs of anorexic, 14 year old boys diving in unison while some catty bitch rambled about synchonicity. Fuck!
I did catch a couple minutes of this game that combined indoor soccer and basketball. The announcers never deigned to mention the name of this bizarre sport, but it looked pretty bad ass. Mainly, I liked that players were allowed to wing the ball as hard as they could at un-padded goalies. Also, unlike soccer, goals were frequently scored.
More Astros Stuff I Promised Not To Write About But Couldn't Help It:
Astros back at .500
Seriously, what the fuck? How is that miserable fucking team at .500? We've allowed 36 more runs than we've scored.
I haven't watched more than a couple innings at a time in a month. Every time I try and watch, Oswalt gives up a three run homer. I looked at the stats today to try and figure out how this team is at .500.
There are no answers in the stats.
Man, Bourn and Towles have been bad. Darin Erstad has gotten 200 ABs. Pence has been mediocre. Tejada is underwhelming. Matsui has been adequate.
Lee had been killing it, and Wigginton has been much better than I expected. He's got an OPS north of .850. Quite solid.
Moehler and Wandy have been our best pitchers, but neither is dominating.
Nothing about this team says .500.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
NFL Team Selection Part 1
NFL Rundown
I’m gonna review all the NFL teams to see if I can find a team to follow this season.
NFC East
Cowboys – Two words: fuck and no. Rednecks + Tony Homo + TO = Fuck no. Also, I require a delicate media coverage balance. I want the team I follow to get some damn attention occasionally, but I can’t stand ESPN style over coverage. Dallas has nothing going for it.
Giants – They did stick it to the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and that was all kinds of awesome. I also loved Carl from Aqua Teen’s reports last year. That was some funny shit. Unfortunately, the Giants have got a Manning on their team; it may be a lesser Manning, but that’s still an immediate disqualification.
Eagles – I love It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. McNabb has a good first name, but his soup commercials suck. I don’t think they have a single interesting player on their roster.
Redskins – Their name is delightfully un-PC. Clinton Portis is batshit crazy in a fun way.
NFC West
Cardinals – Oh hell no. I refuse to adopt another loser franchise. I’m not a band-wagon jumping front runner, but, dammit, I’d like one of the teams I support to not suck out loud. I did live in Phoenix one summer and my sister lives there, but I’m not taking these fuck ups.
49ers – Jerry Rice was a freak in Tecmo Super Bowl but no one talks about him. It’s all Bo Jackson this, Bo Jackson that, but all you had to do was run straight back with Montana as long as possible and then launch the ball into the end zone and Rice would leap up and pull it down. I hear San Francisco is a nice place. Unfortunately, it’s not the late 80s/early 90s anymore. I think the only thing I know about the current team is that Alex Smith is their quarterback and he has small hands. I find that disturbing.
Seahawks – Supposed to be a great albeit yuppified town. They’re pretty decent every year and have good fans. Unfortunately, they are boring, their QB is bald and their coach is fat.
Rams – Uh… I don’t know a damn thing about the Rams other than Bulger gets hurt all the time, and I think people were constantly picking him up only to drop him in fantasy football last year. Fuck St. Louis and Albert Pujols.
NFC North
Bears – Who doesn’t like saying Da Bears? This is not enough reason to support a team.
Detroit Lions – See my comments on losers re the Cardinals.
Packers – Recently freed of Brett Favre. I don’t like Aaron Rodgers because of the shit he talked about Texas a few years back when Cal missed out on the Rose Bowl. Fuck that whiny bitch.
Vikings – Adrian Peterson is amazing (fuck OU), but nothing about Minnesota calls me. Purple uniforms are gay.
NFC South
Falcons – Uh… no.
Panthers – Holy hell, Vinny Testaverde was their leading passer last year. No.
Saints – New Orleans is a great town. Unfortunately, I hate Reggie Bush.
Buccaneers – Bunchaqueers. That’s kinda funny. Joey Galloway infuriated me last year. He’d put up a great game, and then disappear for 3 weeks. It drove me nuts.
Ugh, I just finished the NFC. There are too many teams, and most of them don’t interest me. To be continued.
D
I’m gonna review all the NFL teams to see if I can find a team to follow this season.
NFC East
Cowboys – Two words: fuck and no. Rednecks + Tony Homo + TO = Fuck no. Also, I require a delicate media coverage balance. I want the team I follow to get some damn attention occasionally, but I can’t stand ESPN style over coverage. Dallas has nothing going for it.
Giants – They did stick it to the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and that was all kinds of awesome. I also loved Carl from Aqua Teen’s reports last year. That was some funny shit. Unfortunately, the Giants have got a Manning on their team; it may be a lesser Manning, but that’s still an immediate disqualification.
Eagles – I love It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. McNabb has a good first name, but his soup commercials suck. I don’t think they have a single interesting player on their roster.
Redskins – Their name is delightfully un-PC. Clinton Portis is batshit crazy in a fun way.
NFC West
Cardinals – Oh hell no. I refuse to adopt another loser franchise. I’m not a band-wagon jumping front runner, but, dammit, I’d like one of the teams I support to not suck out loud. I did live in Phoenix one summer and my sister lives there, but I’m not taking these fuck ups.
49ers – Jerry Rice was a freak in Tecmo Super Bowl but no one talks about him. It’s all Bo Jackson this, Bo Jackson that, but all you had to do was run straight back with Montana as long as possible and then launch the ball into the end zone and Rice would leap up and pull it down. I hear San Francisco is a nice place. Unfortunately, it’s not the late 80s/early 90s anymore. I think the only thing I know about the current team is that Alex Smith is their quarterback and he has small hands. I find that disturbing.
Seahawks – Supposed to be a great albeit yuppified town. They’re pretty decent every year and have good fans. Unfortunately, they are boring, their QB is bald and their coach is fat.
Rams – Uh… I don’t know a damn thing about the Rams other than Bulger gets hurt all the time, and I think people were constantly picking him up only to drop him in fantasy football last year. Fuck St. Louis and Albert Pujols.
NFC North
Bears – Who doesn’t like saying Da Bears? This is not enough reason to support a team.
Detroit Lions – See my comments on losers re the Cardinals.
Packers – Recently freed of Brett Favre. I don’t like Aaron Rodgers because of the shit he talked about Texas a few years back when Cal missed out on the Rose Bowl. Fuck that whiny bitch.
Vikings – Adrian Peterson is amazing (fuck OU), but nothing about Minnesota calls me. Purple uniforms are gay.
NFC South
Falcons – Uh… no.
Panthers – Holy hell, Vinny Testaverde was their leading passer last year. No.
Saints – New Orleans is a great town. Unfortunately, I hate Reggie Bush.
Buccaneers – Bunchaqueers. That’s kinda funny. Joey Galloway infuriated me last year. He’d put up a great game, and then disappear for 3 weeks. It drove me nuts.
Ugh, I just finished the NFC. There are too many teams, and most of them don’t interest me. To be continued.
D
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Where is my mind?
I forgot to mention, I caught Pineapple Express on Monday. It was a damn good time. Very funny.
More thoughts later maybe.
NFL project too much work; I'm too busy to get to it. I still want to do it, though.
D
More thoughts later maybe.
NFL project too much work; I'm too busy to get to it. I still want to do it, though.
D
Friday, August 1, 2008
Stuff
-Interesting read on the Sonics moving to OKC:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=631015&hp
It's by Sherman Alexie, a helluva good writer -- one of his books (The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven) has the best title ever -- and a huge basketball fan. It's a shame Seattle has to lose it's team. And this passage concerns me:
I noticed the same things every time I watched the Sonics last year:
"But once reality sets in—once you realize that you have a horrible team coached by an incompetent and unpleasant man featuring an offense that puts your superstar into a dozen different places on the floor where he should not be—you are going to lose that glow."
Not the glow stuff, I noticed that Durant was completely misused and PJ Carlesimo coaches with his head up his ass. Were I Kevin Durant, a terrifically talentented natural forward being forced to play shooting guard and stand around aimlessly on the perimeter while older, shittier veterans jacked up shots around me; thus, forcing me to jack up a shot every time I got the ball for fear of never seeing it again and get criticized for not rebounding enough by that asshole John Hollinger and his crew of flunkies on ESPN even though I was being forced to stay 25 feet away from the basket by my idiot coach, I'd want to go Latrell Sprewell on Carlesimo.
-I get to see Pineapple Express on Monday at the Drafthouse thanks to Ain't It Cool News, which is pretty fucking sweet. Yay me.
-Also, I'm thinking about doing a rundown/evaluation of NFL teams and picking one to follow this year. The Titans or the Texans are the obvious choices for sentimental and regional reasons, and one of them will likely be the winner of my fanship, fanhood, fandom (?). But I'm gonna consider all the other NFL teams, too. Except, pre-emptively, the Patriots, Cowboys, and Colts. They can all go fuck themselves. If Brett Favre ends up on a team, they're immediately out of the running, too.
D
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=631015&hp
It's by Sherman Alexie, a helluva good writer -- one of his books (The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven) has the best title ever -- and a huge basketball fan. It's a shame Seattle has to lose it's team. And this passage concerns me:
I noticed the same things every time I watched the Sonics last year:
"But once reality sets in—once you realize that you have a horrible team coached by an incompetent and unpleasant man featuring an offense that puts your superstar into a dozen different places on the floor where he should not be—you are going to lose that glow."
Not the glow stuff, I noticed that Durant was completely misused and PJ Carlesimo coaches with his head up his ass. Were I Kevin Durant, a terrifically talentented natural forward being forced to play shooting guard and stand around aimlessly on the perimeter while older, shittier veterans jacked up shots around me; thus, forcing me to jack up a shot every time I got the ball for fear of never seeing it again and get criticized for not rebounding enough by that asshole John Hollinger and his crew of flunkies on ESPN even though I was being forced to stay 25 feet away from the basket by my idiot coach, I'd want to go Latrell Sprewell on Carlesimo.
-I get to see Pineapple Express on Monday at the Drafthouse thanks to Ain't It Cool News, which is pretty fucking sweet. Yay me.
-Also, I'm thinking about doing a rundown/evaluation of NFL teams and picking one to follow this year. The Titans or the Texans are the obvious choices for sentimental and regional reasons, and one of them will likely be the winner of my fanship, fanhood, fandom (?). But I'm gonna consider all the other NFL teams, too. Except, pre-emptively, the Patriots, Cowboys, and Colts. They can all go fuck themselves. If Brett Favre ends up on a team, they're immediately out of the running, too.
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