Gonna have to try this:
http://basketbawful.blogspot.com/2008/08/pickup-gear-5-hour-energy.html
"More importantly, nobody suffered a hangover. Not one of us. We didn't even get our usual case of group beersomnia. And mind you, one of my friends, G-Man, regularly suffers the worst hangovers known to man. No, really. He almost always ends up with a terrible migraine and spends the following day throwing up and crawling around in agony. That has not happened once since he started using 5-hour Energy in preparation for a night out on the town. Conversely, he has endured his typical hangovers the few times he has either forgotten or neglected to use it."
It seems like the 5 hour energy people would want to advertise the amazing hangover preventing potential of their product, if this were true.
Also, the Titans won, Texans lost. Hooray or something. No VY, I don't care.
I lost in fantasy this week because Reggie Bush and Marion Barber both shit the bed in the same week. Also, what the fuck is wrong with Andre Johnson?
And I lost the fantasy baseball championship on the last day of the two week final. Sucks.
Anyone interested in fantasy basketball? It doesn't keep everyone's attention like football, but it's my favorite.
In other news, work sucks and my brain is fried. I made a ridiculous number of typos (typoes? how do you spell that?) doing this short ass post.
D
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Holy Crap
This is the first Bill Simmons column where I actually agree with something he said in the last three years.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3602402
My mind boggles.
And that high five is priceless.
D
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3602402
My mind boggles.
And that high five is priceless.
D
You Better Screw This Up, Brad Lidge
Gammons on indisensable players:
'The Justin Morneau-Dustin Pedroia MVP debate is for another day, as if we haven't been debating the term "valuable" for a half-century. Part of the MVP debates over the years has been whether it's fair to judge value based on a player's surrounding or whether his performance stands alone. So extracting the element of where a team would be without a player leads to this judgment: One can argue that the most indispensable players in each league are Joe Mauer and Brad Lidge. '
Sure he's putting up numbers, now, but, when it matters, I expect Lidge to hang a slider and do that obnoxious squat and put his hands on his head thing as he gives up a decisive homer; crushing the already small, dingy remains of the spirit of Philly fans.
If Lidge doesn't blow something important for the Phillies in the playoffs, I'll be displeased.
On my 'I've still got anger issues list', Lidge comes in at number two behind Beltran. Or maybe 1a. Lidge avoids the top spot because, while his failures traumatized me, my anger at his repeated choking and rapid descent from amazing to infuriating was tempered by relief when he was traded. It made (still does!) me feel better to know I'll never watch him face Pujols with our season on the line again.
D
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I hate Skippy
From a very interesting Joe Posnanski column
http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2008/09/22/best-of-the-best/
"This phenomenon is overpowering. I’d say just about every single day for 12 years, I hear from at least one fan (usually many more) who wonders why Skippy isn’t playing more. It doesn’t matter the season, the sport, the level. Skippy should play. Come on. Skippy plays so doggone hard, Skippy brings leadership, he offers intangibles, he knows how to play the game, the team needs more guys like Skippy, more guys willing to put team first, more teammates who don’t care about their statistics, more athletes who give 110%. These fans simply will not hear that Skippy cannot hit, Skippy cannot defend the opponent’s worst guard, Skippy cannot block, Skippy cannot get open, Skippy cannot get off his shot, Skippy cannot make decisions fast enough, Skippy does not have the arm to turn the double play or throw the deep out, Skippy cannot physically hold up. They will not and cannot hear that while Skippy can try as hard as he want, Skippy cannot play."
Not me. I fucking hate Skippy. The people who support Skippy drive me nuts.
Eckstein, Erstad, Loretta, insert your favorite scrappy, white, SHITTY player here. And this Astros team is at least 75% Skippy.
D
http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2008/09/22/best-of-the-best/
"This phenomenon is overpowering. I’d say just about every single day for 12 years, I hear from at least one fan (usually many more) who wonders why Skippy isn’t playing more. It doesn’t matter the season, the sport, the level. Skippy should play. Come on. Skippy plays so doggone hard, Skippy brings leadership, he offers intangibles, he knows how to play the game, the team needs more guys like Skippy, more guys willing to put team first, more teammates who don’t care about their statistics, more athletes who give 110%. These fans simply will not hear that Skippy cannot hit, Skippy cannot defend the opponent’s worst guard, Skippy cannot block, Skippy cannot get open, Skippy cannot get off his shot, Skippy cannot make decisions fast enough, Skippy does not have the arm to turn the double play or throw the deep out, Skippy cannot physically hold up. They will not and cannot hear that while Skippy can try as hard as he want, Skippy cannot play."
Not me. I fucking hate Skippy. The people who support Skippy drive me nuts.
Eckstein, Erstad, Loretta, insert your favorite scrappy, white, SHITTY player here. And this Astros team is at least 75% Skippy.
D
Monday, September 22, 2008
Blog Rivalry/Fantasy Report - Wk. 3
That Tennessee defense is something else. They're doing wonderful things for my fantasy team. And they fucked the Texans up.
The Texans may have found a not completely useless running back in Steve Slaton. A franchise first!
Chris Johnson wasn't amazing for Tennessee yesterday. Reggie Bush continues to put up serious numbers. I'm looking for any excuse to bench Reggie in favor of Johnson, but I haven't come up with one yet.
The Titans are following that old Ravens "We've Got An Amazing Defense and A Good Run Game and Don't Let that Asshole Who Takes the Snaps Fuck It Up" blue print.
The Texans? Well, they aren't looking so good. Also, throw the fucking ball to Andre Johnson!
Fantasy time:
I need to get one point out of Brett Favre and Chansi Stuckey (fucking who? I was surprised to find this guy was on my team because I've never heard of him. ) to secure a win this week. I'm looking good.
RBs are dominating. Marion Barber is destroying people. Reggie Bush continues to not suck. I still hate him.
WRs are driving me nuts. Brandon Marshall is amazing and all the others are crapping the bed. The funny thing is, I didn't realize Marshall was in for a suspension when I picked him, or I never would've drafted him. Turned out good.
TE is some guy I read about this week because Vernon Davis sucks.
No one cares about kickers (although Scobee has been putting up the points).
And I'm thrilled to have picked up the Tennessee defense off waivers. How did that happen?
I wish I didn't have to rely on Brett Favre or Derek Anderson at QB and my bevy of crap receivers, but I can't complain with the results so far.
D
The Texans may have found a not completely useless running back in Steve Slaton. A franchise first!
Chris Johnson wasn't amazing for Tennessee yesterday. Reggie Bush continues to put up serious numbers. I'm looking for any excuse to bench Reggie in favor of Johnson, but I haven't come up with one yet.
The Titans are following that old Ravens "We've Got An Amazing Defense and A Good Run Game and Don't Let that Asshole Who Takes the Snaps Fuck It Up" blue print.
The Texans? Well, they aren't looking so good. Also, throw the fucking ball to Andre Johnson!
Fantasy time:
I need to get one point out of Brett Favre and Chansi Stuckey (fucking who? I was surprised to find this guy was on my team because I've never heard of him. ) to secure a win this week. I'm looking good.
RBs are dominating. Marion Barber is destroying people. Reggie Bush continues to not suck. I still hate him.
WRs are driving me nuts. Brandon Marshall is amazing and all the others are crapping the bed. The funny thing is, I didn't realize Marshall was in for a suspension when I picked him, or I never would've drafted him. Turned out good.
TE is some guy I read about this week because Vernon Davis sucks.
No one cares about kickers (although Scobee has been putting up the points).
And I'm thrilled to have picked up the Tennessee defense off waivers. How did that happen?
I wish I didn't have to rely on Brett Favre or Derek Anderson at QB and my bevy of crap receivers, but I can't complain with the results so far.
D
Friday, September 19, 2008
State of the Astros
http://movetodallas.blogspot.com/2008/09/say-good-night-tomorrow-will-bring.html
I was going to leave a comment on this post, but it ended up going on and on, so I'm making a full post out of it.
Hurricanes don't help, but this team sucks. They've been freaky-lucky to win as much as they have.
Darin Erstad, Geoff Blum, Bourn, Loretta, Ausmus, Quintero -- ugh -- not to mention bit roles for that Castillo guy, Towles, David Newhan, Cruz Jr.. The lineup is beyond abysmal. I hate that lineup. The fact that we can run a lineup like that out there disgusts me. Ed Wade and McClane are proudly putting their baseball ignorance on display with a lineup like that.
09? I dunno. I don't see help on the horizon. Maybe if we sign Ben Sheets, luck out with a pitcher developing (no one leaps out as likely to do so), and we sign a couple big time free agents (side note, Adam Everett will be a free agent, I sure would like to have him on the bench as a defensive replacement)... Even with all that, probably not. I expect us to suck long term. Probably until McClane dies.
Additionally, there are very few good free agent hitters available, and we've nowhere to put them. Unless McClane and Wade bite the bullet and dump a bunch of players wasting space on the roster. All the hitters I listed above save Towles should be considered sunk costs and FUCKING DITCHED FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE BECAUSE THEY FUCKING SUCK FUCKING ASS. HOLY FUCK! Sorry, I wasn't sure if I had been clear about how much I hate this lineup.
09 Free Agent Class (Abandon hope, all ye who enter here -- read, it sucks, there's like 3 good players that will be available, and all of them will sign with the Yankees or Boston.)
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2007/12/2009-mlb-free-a.html
Here are the only good free agents-to-be:
Adam Dunn (DH -- well, he should be)
Mark Teixeira (1b)
Orlando Hudson (2b)
Raul Ibanez (OF)
Manny Ramirez (OF)
Milton Bradley (OF/DH)
Pat Burrell (OF/DH)
None of those positions are open on the Astros.
I'd take a flyer on Rocco Baldelli (CF). I'd hope for 100 games, 15 homers, and 20 steals, and expect less than half that production. But he's one of the few free agents that we could fit in the lineup.
FA Pitchers of note
CC Sabathia - ha!
Ben Sheets - ha!
Jon Garland
Derek Lowe
John Smoltz
I don't know if Derek Lowe could be convinced to come to Houston, but he and Garland are the most reasonable targets.
Here's my list of woe -- players who I think the Astros will pick up -- I've tried to think like Ed Wade, so I whacked myself in the head with a heavy, blunt object and made my choices based on name-recognition (read, players who might have been good once, probably 5-8 years ago, and had their name on sportcenter) and level of grittiness:
David Eckstein - fucking shoot me now, I know we're gonna sign David Eckstein. I just know it. I hate him so damn much, and we're gonna sign him.
Richie Sexson
Hank Blalock
Kevin Mench
Corey Patterson
Mike Hampton
Livan Hernandez
Brian Fuentes
Todd Jones
D
I was going to leave a comment on this post, but it ended up going on and on, so I'm making a full post out of it.
Hurricanes don't help, but this team sucks. They've been freaky-lucky to win as much as they have.
Darin Erstad, Geoff Blum, Bourn, Loretta, Ausmus, Quintero -- ugh -- not to mention bit roles for that Castillo guy, Towles, David Newhan, Cruz Jr.. The lineup is beyond abysmal. I hate that lineup. The fact that we can run a lineup like that out there disgusts me. Ed Wade and McClane are proudly putting their baseball ignorance on display with a lineup like that.
09? I dunno. I don't see help on the horizon. Maybe if we sign Ben Sheets, luck out with a pitcher developing (no one leaps out as likely to do so), and we sign a couple big time free agents (side note, Adam Everett will be a free agent, I sure would like to have him on the bench as a defensive replacement)... Even with all that, probably not. I expect us to suck long term. Probably until McClane dies.
Additionally, there are very few good free agent hitters available, and we've nowhere to put them. Unless McClane and Wade bite the bullet and dump a bunch of players wasting space on the roster. All the hitters I listed above save Towles should be considered sunk costs and FUCKING DITCHED FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE BECAUSE THEY FUCKING SUCK FUCKING ASS. HOLY FUCK! Sorry, I wasn't sure if I had been clear about how much I hate this lineup.
09 Free Agent Class (Abandon hope, all ye who enter here -- read, it sucks, there's like 3 good players that will be available, and all of them will sign with the Yankees or Boston.)
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2007/12/2009-mlb-free-a.html
Here are the only good free agents-to-be:
Adam Dunn (DH -- well, he should be)
Mark Teixeira (1b)
Orlando Hudson (2b)
Raul Ibanez (OF)
Manny Ramirez (OF)
Milton Bradley (OF/DH)
Pat Burrell (OF/DH)
None of those positions are open on the Astros.
I'd take a flyer on Rocco Baldelli (CF). I'd hope for 100 games, 15 homers, and 20 steals, and expect less than half that production. But he's one of the few free agents that we could fit in the lineup.
FA Pitchers of note
CC Sabathia - ha!
Ben Sheets - ha!
Jon Garland
Derek Lowe
John Smoltz
I don't know if Derek Lowe could be convinced to come to Houston, but he and Garland are the most reasonable targets.
Here's my list of woe -- players who I think the Astros will pick up -- I've tried to think like Ed Wade, so I whacked myself in the head with a heavy, blunt object and made my choices based on name-recognition (read, players who might have been good once, probably 5-8 years ago, and had their name on sportcenter) and level of grittiness:
David Eckstein - fucking shoot me now, I know we're gonna sign David Eckstein. I just know it. I hate him so damn much, and we're gonna sign him.
Richie Sexson
Hank Blalock
Kevin Mench
Corey Patterson
Mike Hampton
Livan Hernandez
Brian Fuentes
Todd Jones
D
Oh, it's on!
http://www.basketballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=415
Check it out, Mitch. A serious basketball nerd just wrote up a best-center-ever show down.
I didn't even know there was a basketball equivalent of VORP, apparently there is. And this guy says the rankings go like this:
Player Total Career Best3 5year Play
Robinson 79.3 26.1 26.2 24.2 2.8
O'Neal 78.6 26.9 25.0 21.9 5.3
Olajuwon 76.1 28.2 23.5 20.6 3.9
Ewing 56.2 18.8 18.3 17.0 2.1
I don't understand those numbers, but I can see that Olajuwon comes in third. So, to Mitch, I say, 'Ohhhhhhhh, are you gonna take that?!'
Also note, Sunny In Philadelphia is back on, and it's fantastic. More thoughts to come.
D
Check it out, Mitch. A serious basketball nerd just wrote up a best-center-ever show down.
I didn't even know there was a basketball equivalent of VORP, apparently there is. And this guy says the rankings go like this:
Player Total Career Best3 5year Play
Robinson 79.3 26.1 26.2 24.2 2.8
O'Neal 78.6 26.9 25.0 21.9 5.3
Olajuwon 76.1 28.2 23.5 20.6 3.9
Ewing 56.2 18.8 18.3 17.0 2.1
I don't understand those numbers, but I can see that Olajuwon comes in third. So, to Mitch, I say, 'Ohhhhhhhh, are you gonna take that?!'
Also note, Sunny In Philadelphia is back on, and it's fantastic. More thoughts to come.
D
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Blog Rivalry/Fantasy Report
A couple snags are interfering with the blog rivalry plan. The Titans games aren't getting shown in Austin, and Vince Young is out, likely benched for the future, and hasn't played well since his rookie season. Consequently, I do not give a fuck about the Titans beyond Chris Young and their defense (both on my fantasy team).
And the Texans decided to take a vacation because of inclement weather or something. The unexpected vacation damn near fucked my fantasy team.
I've put up good numbers both weeks in spite of multiple players laying goose eggs. I could look at this optimistically and conclude that my team has the potential to be even better with a bit of consistency. Fuck that. I'm worried about which WR is going to shit the bed on me next week. I'm not sure which scrub WR to pickup off waivers. I'm just like a little boy, playin' with his dick when he's nervous.
In a complete shocker, I'm now glad that Brett Favre came out of retirement and I was able to grab him late in the draft because I think Derek Anderson was concussed so hard he became Simple Jack. It could've been the Steelers defense or the rain and 30 mph winds, but I think he's gone full retard. Like the dumbest mother fucker that ever lived.
In conclusion, I wanted to quote Tropic Thunder a lot. I couldn't find a way to work my favorite line into any other paragraph, but I couldn't leave it out...
I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!
D
And the Texans decided to take a vacation because of inclement weather or something. The unexpected vacation damn near fucked my fantasy team.
I've put up good numbers both weeks in spite of multiple players laying goose eggs. I could look at this optimistically and conclude that my team has the potential to be even better with a bit of consistency. Fuck that. I'm worried about which WR is going to shit the bed on me next week. I'm not sure which scrub WR to pickup off waivers. I'm just like a little boy, playin' with his dick when he's nervous.
In a complete shocker, I'm now glad that Brett Favre came out of retirement and I was able to grab him late in the draft because I think Derek Anderson was concussed so hard he became Simple Jack. It could've been the Steelers defense or the rain and 30 mph winds, but I think he's gone full retard. Like the dumbest mother fucker that ever lived.
In conclusion, I wanted to quote Tropic Thunder a lot. I couldn't find a way to work my favorite line into any other paragraph, but I couldn't leave it out...
I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!
D
Monday, September 15, 2008
Astros Get the Shaft
The Cubs get the big bonus.
http://sports.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=22528
We got screwed over. There's a picture of doughy, pasty Cubs fans at Miller Park on the ESPN homepage, right now, that about makes me froth at the mouth.
I've tried and failed to put coherent thoughts about this together.
All I get is:
Motherfucking Bud Selig, fuck ass Cubs, shit! FUCK!
D
http://sports.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=22528
We got screwed over. There's a picture of doughy, pasty Cubs fans at Miller Park on the ESPN homepage, right now, that about makes me froth at the mouth.
I've tried and failed to put coherent thoughts about this together.
All I get is:
Motherfucking Bud Selig, fuck ass Cubs, shit! FUCK!
D
Thursday, September 11, 2008
JoePo On Beltran
http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2008/09/11/beltran/
"I found myself feeling just a tiny bit the way a father must feel when he sees his child graduate from high school … not pride as much as wonder, how quickly time goes by.
I saw Carlos in high school, and he had all the talent in the world back then,” one scout said. “He was no secret. I thought that if he wanted he could be Willie Mays. I just wasn’t too sure that he wanted that, and neither was anybody else."
An interesting perspective because I've still got a lot of Beltran anger. He sucked down the stretch before the 04 playoffs. He played a month on cruise control, went nuts in the playoffs (but not nuts enough to help the Astros win), and with Boras' help strung the Astros along that offseason and played them for a HUGE contract.
I don't see the confused kid. I see the guy not trying hard enough.
"I don’t think he’s right for New York,” one writer said to me. “I don’t think his personality fits in here."
You know the place he was right for? Houston. The fans loved him. They would've forgiven the injury affected performance. The fans aren't as cruel as those in New York.
Look at how the Latin community has embraced Carlos Lee!
And settling for Carlos Lee after getting spurned by Beltran is like taking a fat girl to the prom after being rejected by the flirtatious prom queen. That bitch!
D
"I found myself feeling just a tiny bit the way a father must feel when he sees his child graduate from high school … not pride as much as wonder, how quickly time goes by.
I saw Carlos in high school, and he had all the talent in the world back then,” one scout said. “He was no secret. I thought that if he wanted he could be Willie Mays. I just wasn’t too sure that he wanted that, and neither was anybody else."
An interesting perspective because I've still got a lot of Beltran anger. He sucked down the stretch before the 04 playoffs. He played a month on cruise control, went nuts in the playoffs (but not nuts enough to help the Astros win), and with Boras' help strung the Astros along that offseason and played them for a HUGE contract.
I don't see the confused kid. I see the guy not trying hard enough.
"I don’t think he’s right for New York,” one writer said to me. “I don’t think his personality fits in here."
You know the place he was right for? Houston. The fans loved him. They would've forgiven the injury affected performance. The fans aren't as cruel as those in New York.
Look at how the Latin community has embraced Carlos Lee!
And settling for Carlos Lee after getting spurned by Beltran is like taking a fat girl to the prom after being rejected by the flirtatious prom queen. That bitch!
D
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Whiny Simmons
From Bill Simmon's whiny, self-indulgent column:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080909
"Joan Hollaway (the curvy, vindictive redhead in Don Draper's office) *annoying fucking spoiler deleted* Don's new secretary, Jane (a saucy, manipulative ice queen who's quite possibly the best-looking actress since the Jaclyn Smith/Cheryl Ladd combo in "Charlie's Angels")."
I was watching football/napping during Mad Men Sunday so I didn't see the episode and hadn't gotten around to watching it before reading Simmons' column.
Calling Joan curvy isn't even close to being a sufficient description.
And Jane is indeed fucking crazy hot.
Draper's wife (January Jones) is damn hot, too. If forced to choose, I think I'd pick her.
I'll have some detailed thoughts on the show, at some point. I haven't finished the first season, and I need to rewatch the second after I do, so I understand what was going on.
I didn't have a problem getting into the series by starting out with the first episode of the second season, but a lot of stuff went over my head.
Briefly, I wish the show didn't try to be so heavy. I feel weird writing that. Normally, darker and harsher equals better, to me. But, At its best, Mad Men is glossy, bright, funny, sexy, stylish, and cool. I like the shallow fun. It makes me want to wear a nice suit, sip some whiskey, and smoke.
I appreciate the complexity of the characters, but the best moments of the series are the bits like every woman being a Marilyn or a Jackie.
Sometimes superficial is enough.
D
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080909
"Joan Hollaway (the curvy, vindictive redhead in Don Draper's office) *annoying fucking spoiler deleted* Don's new secretary, Jane (a saucy, manipulative ice queen who's quite possibly the best-looking actress since the Jaclyn Smith/Cheryl Ladd combo in "Charlie's Angels")."
I was watching football/napping during Mad Men Sunday so I didn't see the episode and hadn't gotten around to watching it before reading Simmons' column.
Calling Joan curvy isn't even close to being a sufficient description.
And Jane is indeed fucking crazy hot.
Draper's wife (January Jones) is damn hot, too. If forced to choose, I think I'd pick her.
I'll have some detailed thoughts on the show, at some point. I haven't finished the first season, and I need to rewatch the second after I do, so I understand what was going on.
I didn't have a problem getting into the series by starting out with the first episode of the second season, but a lot of stuff went over my head.
Briefly, I wish the show didn't try to be so heavy. I feel weird writing that. Normally, darker and harsher equals better, to me. But, At its best, Mad Men is glossy, bright, funny, sexy, stylish, and cool. I like the shallow fun. It makes me want to wear a nice suit, sip some whiskey, and smoke.
I appreciate the complexity of the characters, but the best moments of the series are the bits like every woman being a Marilyn or a Jackie.
Sometimes superficial is enough.
D
The Colonel's Secret Recipe?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080909/ap_on_re_us/kfc_secret
I'll tell you the secret recipe:
chicken, grease, salt.
D
I'll tell you the secret recipe:
chicken, grease, salt.
D
Monday, September 8, 2008
How 'bout them Texans?
Let the blog rivalry smack talk begin!
I'm thinking this can be a weekly installment. I'm also gonna talk shit about the fantasy league.
First things first, suck it Texans! Holy shit am I relieved that I didn't decide to support the Texans. That was ugly.
If I was being reasonable, I'd say it's hard to tell whether it was a case of the Texans being really bad or the Steelers being really good. Fuck reasonable. The Texans stink and are cursed to suck.
Go Titans! Way to win ugly. Damn I'm pleased to have snagged Chris Johnson as my backup RB. He and the defense look like the bright spots on this Titans team.
Every year, pundits talk up Jacksonville, and every year I watch Jacksonville choke against teams like the Titans and Texans. Consequently, I can't take them seriously. Also, Maurice Jones-Drew is the reason Randy Newman wrote 'Short People.'
Hey, Vince Young. We need to talk. Look, you were amazing in college. Inspiring. Awesome. You gave it to those pompous fucks at USC, and it was great. That Rose Bowl was the best game I've ever seen.
But, now. Now, you're embarassing me. This 3 for 28 with 4 interceptions, a fumble and 35 yards rushing? I can't take it. It's time to get your shit together. You're in danger of permanently losing your job to Kerry Collins, and he's in Vinny Testaverde territory.
--To my fantasy team. As long as Jay Cutler and Javon Walker don't score more than 35 points, I'm taking this week. This despite having two WRs put up goose eggs. I couldn't do anything about Stallworth, and I knew he was one of the most fragile players alive when I drafted him. I should've looked to see if Limas Sweed was actually gonna, you know, make the team before playing him. Although, I had to use someone as my 3rd WR because I've got Brandon Marshall and his one game suspension.
I should be good with Andre Johnson and Marshall as my top two WRs, but I'm worried about dealing with Stallworth and his disappearing act all season. I'm not sure I want the hassle of checking the injury reports 5 minutes before every game to see if I need to sub in a WR.
Note to the league, I'm open to trades for a WR. I've got some depth at QB and RB.
Between Favre and Derek Anderson, my QB situation is satisfactory. There was an early rush on QBs in the draft. Favre and Anderson are third tier QBs but it wasn't worth it to reach for a Tier 2. I think all the Tier 1s (Brady - ha!, Tony Homo, and probably Manning) went before I ever even got a pick.
I've got Marion Barber, Reggie Bush, and the aforementioned Chris Johnson at RBs. I foresee a RB controversy brewing between Bush and Johnson. Bush put up some damn fine numbers this week, but I hate him and Johnson showed signs of being special.
TE, Def, K - Whatever. You can't count on any of these.
I'm thinking this can be a weekly installment. I'm also gonna talk shit about the fantasy league.
First things first, suck it Texans! Holy shit am I relieved that I didn't decide to support the Texans. That was ugly.
If I was being reasonable, I'd say it's hard to tell whether it was a case of the Texans being really bad or the Steelers being really good. Fuck reasonable. The Texans stink and are cursed to suck.
Go Titans! Way to win ugly. Damn I'm pleased to have snagged Chris Johnson as my backup RB. He and the defense look like the bright spots on this Titans team.
Every year, pundits talk up Jacksonville, and every year I watch Jacksonville choke against teams like the Titans and Texans. Consequently, I can't take them seriously. Also, Maurice Jones-Drew is the reason Randy Newman wrote 'Short People.'
Hey, Vince Young. We need to talk. Look, you were amazing in college. Inspiring. Awesome. You gave it to those pompous fucks at USC, and it was great. That Rose Bowl was the best game I've ever seen.
But, now. Now, you're embarassing me. This 3 for 28 with 4 interceptions, a fumble and 35 yards rushing? I can't take it. It's time to get your shit together. You're in danger of permanently losing your job to Kerry Collins, and he's in Vinny Testaverde territory.
--To my fantasy team. As long as Jay Cutler and Javon Walker don't score more than 35 points, I'm taking this week. This despite having two WRs put up goose eggs. I couldn't do anything about Stallworth, and I knew he was one of the most fragile players alive when I drafted him. I should've looked to see if Limas Sweed was actually gonna, you know, make the team before playing him. Although, I had to use someone as my 3rd WR because I've got Brandon Marshall and his one game suspension.
I should be good with Andre Johnson and Marshall as my top two WRs, but I'm worried about dealing with Stallworth and his disappearing act all season. I'm not sure I want the hassle of checking the injury reports 5 minutes before every game to see if I need to sub in a WR.
Note to the league, I'm open to trades for a WR. I've got some depth at QB and RB.
Between Favre and Derek Anderson, my QB situation is satisfactory. There was an early rush on QBs in the draft. Favre and Anderson are third tier QBs but it wasn't worth it to reach for a Tier 2. I think all the Tier 1s (Brady - ha!, Tony Homo, and probably Manning) went before I ever even got a pick.
I've got Marion Barber, Reggie Bush, and the aforementioned Chris Johnson at RBs. I foresee a RB controversy brewing between Bush and Johnson. Bush put up some damn fine numbers this week, but I hate him and Johnson showed signs of being special.
TE, Def, K - Whatever. You can't count on any of these.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Don't Fuck This Up, Oklahoma
http://www.avclub.com/content/newswire/help_pick_the_official_rock
Or you can go directly to:
http://www.oklahomarocksong.org/voted.html
to choose the official state rock song because you can't trust those stupid Okies to get it right for themselves.
The only correct choice is the Flaming Lips. They're about the only thing from Oklahoma I'm proud of, well, them and Jamil's.
Actually, JJ Cale's alright, too. I'm not sure I can take it if the All American Rejects win.
I'm not sure what's with all the Oklahoma content lately. I fucking hate that place. I left and rarely go back for a reason. It sucks balls.
D
Or you can go directly to:
http://www.oklahomarocksong.org/voted.html
to choose the official state rock song because you can't trust those stupid Okies to get it right for themselves.
The only correct choice is the Flaming Lips. They're about the only thing from Oklahoma I'm proud of, well, them and Jamil's.
Actually, JJ Cale's alright, too. I'm not sure I can take it if the All American Rejects win.
I'm not sure what's with all the Oklahoma content lately. I fucking hate that place. I left and rarely go back for a reason. It sucks balls.
D
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Name Everyone Already Knew Revealed!
The OKC Thunder. Meh
I suggested to a couple people that they name the team 'The OKC Sixty Six.' Somehow, telling two friends did not an effective campaign make.
Yes, I know it's a lot like the 76ers. I don't care. The 66. No explanations (route 66). No plurals.
The 66.
I still like it. And the mascot would clearly be Satan -- the 6th man for the OKC 66.
I also would have accepted the OKC Fuck You Seattles, the OKC Starbucks Sucks, or the OKC Yankees.
Oh well, fuck it.
I like this faint praise for the Thunder:
"It's very unique," said Mason, a former Oklahoma State forward who the Thunder acquired in an offseason trade with Milwaukee. "It's going to take some time getting used to, just like Utah Jazz or Orlando Magic, but I think it's a great thing for the state and a great thing for the city."
Yeah, it's a fucking WNBA team name. I'm not sure that it's gayer than the Magic or the Wizards, but it's pretty shitty. Unfortunately, it doesn't have the ironic juxtaposition of Utah and Jazz, which is so absurd and shitty it's fun.
I just looked at the reader comments from ESPN about this story, and they're batshit crazy. They're all having incoherent arguments with themselves or ranting about barely, barely related subjects.
'OU gonna whoop that #### betta believe that we might not even let em score '
'man how you gonna tell me that call any radio station in the south ask them that...man people from Seattle dont know nuttin '
'I'll still hope the Sooners beat the Huskers every time, peace. '
'Why dont yall enjoy life for 5 mins OKC is not gone kill you to support them '
'It's the Southwest only more like Mississippi than Arizona.'
'You must not know about the South Then Oh yeah I forgot Seattle has nuttin but fishin i see why clay did what he did .... He Saved Seattle Sonics from drowning hahahah so we could Send them to the clouds...... Oh yeah there alot of Sonics restuarants in Okc so yall can come join me for lunch hahhahahha'
And my favorite:
'... you do know that Seattle is the fifth biggest sports market in the nation right? And even people from Okc agree that its not the south. Its the midwest. and coming from a person who has, obviously, never been farther than down the street from the house he grew up in, i'd like to bring up boeing, microsoft, starbucks, safeco, nordstroms, amazon, costco. But you're right. Seattle is only known for fishing.'
Take that, uh, whichever side it is that guy is arguing with. I love it. Reread that shit, it's like retard poetry.
D
I suggested to a couple people that they name the team 'The OKC Sixty Six.' Somehow, telling two friends did not an effective campaign make.
Yes, I know it's a lot like the 76ers. I don't care. The 66. No explanations (route 66). No plurals.
The 66.
I still like it. And the mascot would clearly be Satan -- the 6th man for the OKC 66.
I also would have accepted the OKC Fuck You Seattles, the OKC Starbucks Sucks, or the OKC Yankees.
Oh well, fuck it.
I like this faint praise for the Thunder:
"It's very unique," said Mason, a former Oklahoma State forward who the Thunder acquired in an offseason trade with Milwaukee. "It's going to take some time getting used to, just like Utah Jazz or Orlando Magic, but I think it's a great thing for the state and a great thing for the city."
Yeah, it's a fucking WNBA team name. I'm not sure that it's gayer than the Magic or the Wizards, but it's pretty shitty. Unfortunately, it doesn't have the ironic juxtaposition of Utah and Jazz, which is so absurd and shitty it's fun.
I just looked at the reader comments from ESPN about this story, and they're batshit crazy. They're all having incoherent arguments with themselves or ranting about barely, barely related subjects.
'OU gonna whoop that #### betta believe that we might not even let em score '
'man how you gonna tell me that call any radio station in the south ask them that...man people from Seattle dont know nuttin '
'I'll still hope the Sooners beat the Huskers every time, peace. '
'Why dont yall enjoy life for 5 mins OKC is not gone kill you to support them '
'It's the Southwest only more like Mississippi than Arizona.'
'You must not know about the South Then Oh yeah I forgot Seattle has nuttin but fishin i see why clay did what he did .... He Saved Seattle Sonics from drowning hahahah so we could Send them to the clouds...... Oh yeah there alot of Sonics restuarants in Okc so yall can come join me for lunch hahhahahha'
And my favorite:
'... you do know that Seattle is the fifth biggest sports market in the nation right? And even people from Okc agree that its not the south. Its the midwest. and coming from a person who has, obviously, never been farther than down the street from the house he grew up in, i'd like to bring up boeing, microsoft, starbucks, safeco, nordstroms, amazon, costco. But you're right. Seattle is only known for fishing.'
Take that, uh, whichever side it is that guy is arguing with. I love it. Reread that shit, it's like retard poetry.
D
Astros Bits
This winning thing the Astros are doing? It's a terrible idea.
This team has been outscored by 30 runs. It's not a good team, but somehow they're winning. This gives Ed Wade and the fools for the Comical the wrong idea.
Also, I was looking at stats today.
Man, Tejada has sucked. His OBP is terrible (.314).
Pence gets on even less but has a bit more power. I don't know how this team scores any runs. Berkman is the only guy who gets on base. Lee and Wiggy are the only other guys with an OBP over .350! Each of those three have an OPS over .900.
Matsui is the only other regular with an OPS over .750. He's been acceptable when he's been on the field. I'm alright with a 2b with speed and a .767 OPS. I'm not excited about it. But it's alright.
What's funny is that Backe has the 4th highest OPS on the team. Unfortunately, they let him pitch.
I'm glad Roy O has gotten it together lately.
The rest of the pitching is bad. Too blech to even look at it in any detail.
How about help from the minors? Nope, don't count on it. We have almost no players of note. The only interesting thing is that after several years of stinking up the joint as a pitcher, Brian Bogusevic was converted to OF and has put up a 1.003 OPS in 42 games in AA. Who the fuck knows what to expect from him, though.
Bring on football!
This team has been outscored by 30 runs. It's not a good team, but somehow they're winning. This gives Ed Wade and the fools for the Comical the wrong idea.
Also, I was looking at stats today.
Man, Tejada has sucked. His OBP is terrible (.314).
Pence gets on even less but has a bit more power. I don't know how this team scores any runs. Berkman is the only guy who gets on base. Lee and Wiggy are the only other guys with an OBP over .350! Each of those three have an OPS over .900.
Matsui is the only other regular with an OPS over .750. He's been acceptable when he's been on the field. I'm alright with a 2b with speed and a .767 OPS. I'm not excited about it. But it's alright.
What's funny is that Backe has the 4th highest OPS on the team. Unfortunately, they let him pitch.
I'm glad Roy O has gotten it together lately.
The rest of the pitching is bad. Too blech to even look at it in any detail.
How about help from the minors? Nope, don't count on it. We have almost no players of note. The only interesting thing is that after several years of stinking up the joint as a pitcher, Brian Bogusevic was converted to OF and has put up a 1.003 OPS in 42 games in AA. Who the fuck knows what to expect from him, though.
Bring on football!
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