From this:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part2/091023&sportCat=nba
"6. Kevin Durant
Prediction No. 1: Your 2009-10 scoring champ.
Prediction No. 2: Lots of "The NBA's Hottest Young Superstar!" national stories.
Prediction No. 3: With 10 days to go, the Zombies will be fighting for the eighth playoff spot as everyone says, "Wait, are they going to make the playoffs?"
Not a prediction, but definitely in play: Twenty-nine-plus points and eight rebounds per game, with 50-40-90 averages for FG/3FG/FT. Last guy who did it? The Basketball Jesus.
(In other words, hold on to your seats. You're about to go on a ride.)"
Bliss.
D
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Out of Retirement!
Temporarily, at least, to suggest the following, after reading this:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnflpicks/091009
Featuring this excerpt:
"Q: My friend Kevin and I happened to be looking up random wikipedia pages, a pastime of ours, when we happened across Appalachian State's page (we're Ohio State students). We noticed their endowment total and wondered what our own was and furthermore if we could purchase a small country with that amount. It turns out OSU's endowment is $2.075 billion while the GDP of Djibouti is $1.877 billion. We're thinking of getting drunk and writing a proposal to our school's president about acquiring said nation.Your thoughts?
--Chalk and Kevin, Columbus
SG: Wait a second, you're looking up random Wikipedia pages in college and THINKING of getting drunk? Anyway, I love a few things about this idea. First, I think you can lowball the Djiboutians because, if push comes to shove, OSU has a higher GDP and you can just invade them. Second, the NCAA is so screwed up that it would probably veto the purchase of Djibouti because it doesn't follow the Title IX guidelines. And third, the thought of people reporting this story kills me. Let's go to Pat Forde, who's been tracking down Ohio State's purchase of Djibouti all week. Pat, how will this affect the Big Ten, and what about the rumors of Michigan invading Newfoundland?"
I looked up this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Texas_at_Austin
"The university has an endowment of $7.2 billion, out of the $16.11 billion (according to 2008 estimates) available to the University of Texas. This figure reflects the fact that the school has the largest endowment of any public university in the nation.[citation needed]"
That's 5 billion more than Ohio State.
I think we should buy a country and establish the Nation of the University of Texas. 2 years ago I would've suggested VinceYoungistan or VYoslovakia but the embarrasment of his NFL career makes that impossible. I can't seriously name it after Colt McCoy. His name is too gay.
Other things to cover from the last 4 months:
-Fantasy football, can't check it at work, can't remember it at home. That + Adam's drafting = suckitude.
-Take that Phillies! Now you, too, must deal with Brad Lidge inspired crushed expectations. He's bringing you down, too! He's definitely going to hurt them. Sweet, sweet vindictive hate.
-Fucking Astros. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shitty and boring.
-Paranormal Activity = Blair Witch. Don't believe the hype. I give it a C. Entertaining but nothing special. I've seen much scarier.
-House of Sun by Alastair Reynolds = some kick ass sci-fi. Old school Heinlein or Orson Scott Card good sci-fi. Sci-fi you don't have to be embarassed about liking. No, seriously, fuck you! It's good. Fuckers.
-NFL games = long and boring. Too many ads. Won't watch, don't care.
-You know what sucks? Soccer. Fuck the world cup. You know what doesn't suck? Rugby. FX or Spike or something has shown some rugby lately. That's some entertaining shit. People getting hit like football, without pads like soccer, but there's scoring! It's a good game.
-UT's college basketball team should be kick-ass this year. Really looking forward to that.
D
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnflpicks/091009
Featuring this excerpt:
"Q: My friend Kevin and I happened to be looking up random wikipedia pages, a pastime of ours, when we happened across Appalachian State's page (we're Ohio State students). We noticed their endowment total and wondered what our own was and furthermore if we could purchase a small country with that amount. It turns out OSU's endowment is $2.075 billion while the GDP of Djibouti is $1.877 billion. We're thinking of getting drunk and writing a proposal to our school's president about acquiring said nation.Your thoughts?
--Chalk and Kevin, Columbus
SG: Wait a second, you're looking up random Wikipedia pages in college and THINKING of getting drunk? Anyway, I love a few things about this idea. First, I think you can lowball the Djiboutians because, if push comes to shove, OSU has a higher GDP and you can just invade them. Second, the NCAA is so screwed up that it would probably veto the purchase of Djibouti because it doesn't follow the Title IX guidelines. And third, the thought of people reporting this story kills me. Let's go to Pat Forde, who's been tracking down Ohio State's purchase of Djibouti all week. Pat, how will this affect the Big Ten, and what about the rumors of Michigan invading Newfoundland?"
I looked up this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Texas_at_Austin
"The university has an endowment of $7.2 billion, out of the $16.11 billion (according to 2008 estimates) available to the University of Texas. This figure reflects the fact that the school has the largest endowment of any public university in the nation.[citation needed]"
That's 5 billion more than Ohio State.
I think we should buy a country and establish the Nation of the University of Texas. 2 years ago I would've suggested VinceYoungistan or VYoslovakia but the embarrasment of his NFL career makes that impossible. I can't seriously name it after Colt McCoy. His name is too gay.
Other things to cover from the last 4 months:
-Fantasy football, can't check it at work, can't remember it at home. That + Adam's drafting = suckitude.
-Take that Phillies! Now you, too, must deal with Brad Lidge inspired crushed expectations. He's bringing you down, too! He's definitely going to hurt them. Sweet, sweet vindictive hate.
-Fucking Astros. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shitty and boring.
-Paranormal Activity = Blair Witch. Don't believe the hype. I give it a C. Entertaining but nothing special. I've seen much scarier.
-House of Sun by Alastair Reynolds = some kick ass sci-fi. Old school Heinlein or Orson Scott Card good sci-fi. Sci-fi you don't have to be embarassed about liking. No, seriously, fuck you! It's good. Fuckers.
-NFL games = long and boring. Too many ads. Won't watch, don't care.
-You know what sucks? Soccer. Fuck the world cup. You know what doesn't suck? Rugby. FX or Spike or something has shown some rugby lately. That's some entertaining shit. People getting hit like football, without pads like soccer, but there's scoring! It's a good game.
-UT's college basketball team should be kick-ass this year. Really looking forward to that.
D
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Fire the Astros Scouting Department Now!
From this story.
We get this:
>We thought he was the best baseball player in this Draft," said Astros general manager in charge of scouting Bobby Heck.
Is it possible that they have never heard of this guy?
I mean, people are only calling him among, if not the, best college pitching prospect EVER.
The guy the Astros took, Jiovanni Mier, was ranked 17 by Keith Law. John Sickels had him ranked 22.
So, he was drafted about where he should have been drafted. No one except the Astros thinks he's the best baseball player in the draft. Expressing such a dumb opinion should get Heck the boot.
Talk up your draft pick. Sure. Say you think he was under-rated, a steal. Awesome. But don't act like he's the best pick in the draft when there was a 100% CONSENSUS NO DOUBT LOCK first pick in the draft.
It would've been like the Hornets drafting David West at 17 back in 2003 and claiming they got the best player in the draft. Perspective: 2003 was the year Lebron and Carmelo were drafted.
D
We get this:
>We thought he was the best baseball player in this Draft," said Astros general manager in charge of scouting Bobby Heck.
Is it possible that they have never heard of this guy?
I mean, people are only calling him among, if not the, best college pitching prospect EVER.
The guy the Astros took, Jiovanni Mier, was ranked 17 by Keith Law. John Sickels had him ranked 22.
So, he was drafted about where he should have been drafted. No one except the Astros thinks he's the best baseball player in the draft. Expressing such a dumb opinion should get Heck the boot.
Talk up your draft pick. Sure. Say you think he was under-rated, a steal. Awesome. But don't act like he's the best pick in the draft when there was a 100% CONSENSUS NO DOUBT LOCK first pick in the draft.
It would've been like the Hornets drafting David West at 17 back in 2003 and claiming they got the best player in the draft. Perspective: 2003 was the year Lebron and Carmelo were drafted.
D
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Seth Godin Says Do This
Link in title.
This:
>Spend twenty hours a week running a project for a non-profit.
Teach yourself Java, HTML, Flash, PHP and SQL. Not a little, but mastery.
Volunteer to coach or assistant coach a kids sports team.
Start, run and grow an online community.
Give a speech a week to local organizations.
Write a regular newsletter or blog about an industry you care about.
Learn a foreign language fluently.
Write three detailed business plans for projects in the industry you care about.
Self-publish a book.
Run a marathon.
Beats law school.
>If you wake up every morning at 6, give up TV and treat this list like a job, you'll have no trouble accomplishing everything on it. Everything! When you do, what happens to your job prospects?
Who wants to pay my bills while I do all this? Except running a marathon. I won't do that because it's dumb.
D
This:
>Spend twenty hours a week running a project for a non-profit.
Teach yourself Java, HTML, Flash, PHP and SQL. Not a little, but mastery.
Volunteer to coach or assistant coach a kids sports team.
Start, run and grow an online community.
Give a speech a week to local organizations.
Write a regular newsletter or blog about an industry you care about.
Learn a foreign language fluently.
Write three detailed business plans for projects in the industry you care about.
Self-publish a book.
Run a marathon.
Beats law school.
>If you wake up every morning at 6, give up TV and treat this list like a job, you'll have no trouble accomplishing everything on it. Everything! When you do, what happens to your job prospects?
Who wants to pay my bills while I do all this? Except running a marathon. I won't do that because it's dumb.
D
Note to Astros Management
From the astros.com website:
'In The Show
The Astros haven't had any players from their previous three Drafts reach the Majors. '
You suck.
Also, your entire scouting department should be fired.
Your General Manager, too.
And, if there are any billionaires reading, it sure would be nice if someone would buy the team away from the current owner.
D
'In The Show
The Astros haven't had any players from their previous three Drafts reach the Majors. '
You suck.
Also, your entire scouting department should be fired.
Your General Manager, too.
And, if there are any billionaires reading, it sure would be nice if someone would buy the team away from the current owner.
D
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Gayest Hamlet Ever
http://www.avclub.com/articles/emile-hirsch-twilight-director-to-tackle-hamlet,28745/?utm_source=newswire_listing
AV Club Headline: Emile Hirsch, Twilight director to tackle Hamlet
Well, obviously, that's the logical follow up.
No seriously, Twilight is some retarded faggy shit. That director sucks balls.
D
AV Club Headline: Emile Hirsch, Twilight director to tackle Hamlet
Well, obviously, that's the logical follow up.
No seriously, Twilight is some retarded faggy shit. That director sucks balls.
D
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Reviewing the Crap Free Agents the Astros Will Sign Next Year
I was reading this story:
http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4220749&name=olney_buster
and I came across this bit:
-Adrian Beltre: He got five years and $65 million the last time around, and he'll never see those kinds of dollars again. At age 30, he's hitting .232 with three homers and 21 RBIs. At least he still ranks as an elite defensive third baseman.
and I instantly felt certain that the Astros will make a run at him in the offseason, pay him too fucking much, and try and make him into a starter when he's clearly a late-inning defensive replacement at this point in his career.
Don't be surprised if we make a run at the following once good now shitty players: Placido Polanco, Hank Blalock, Vladimir Guerrero
D
http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4220749&name=olney_buster
and I came across this bit:
-Adrian Beltre: He got five years and $65 million the last time around, and he'll never see those kinds of dollars again. At age 30, he's hitting .232 with three homers and 21 RBIs. At least he still ranks as an elite defensive third baseman.
and I instantly felt certain that the Astros will make a run at him in the offseason, pay him too fucking much, and try and make him into a starter when he's clearly a late-inning defensive replacement at this point in his career.
Don't be surprised if we make a run at the following once good now shitty players: Placido Polanco, Hank Blalock, Vladimir Guerrero
D
Friday, May 29, 2009
Apt and Insightful
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/magazine/24labor-t.html?em
There's a lesson here about class and work. It's funny to hear it coming from the New York Times. Let's get lectured by the epitome of white-collar, urban, modern lifestyle.
I expect high fallutin city folk (this from a city-dwelling, damn near useless English major -- but I'm from Oklahoma, I've stepped in cow shit, I get to be snobby about this) to labor under the following delusion expressed in the article:
>The trades suffer from low prestige, and I believe this is based on a simple mistake. Because the work is dirty, many people assume it is also stupid.
I'm reminded of this every time I get the foolish idea to assemble something myself. Building shit is hard. I've seen video wherein Mike Rowe gives a good speech about this subject. I'll see if I can find it on youtube later.
I'm fascinated by virtuosity and admire craftsmanship like I appreciate sports or music or art. How can you not admire the expression of the highest level of human ability?
There's a lesson here about class and work. It's funny to hear it coming from the New York Times. Let's get lectured by the epitome of white-collar, urban, modern lifestyle.
I expect high fallutin city folk (this from a city-dwelling, damn near useless English major -- but I'm from Oklahoma, I've stepped in cow shit, I get to be snobby about this) to labor under the following delusion expressed in the article:
>The trades suffer from low prestige, and I believe this is based on a simple mistake. Because the work is dirty, many people assume it is also stupid.
I'm reminded of this every time I get the foolish idea to assemble something myself. Building shit is hard. I've seen video wherein Mike Rowe gives a good speech about this subject. I'll see if I can find it on youtube later.
I'm fascinated by virtuosity and admire craftsmanship like I appreciate sports or music or art. How can you not admire the expression of the highest level of human ability?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
This drives me crazy...
Funny, enlightening, and an irritating example of a common phenomenon:
http://ericcressey.com/bogus-workouts-and-the-official-blog-of
Bull shit abounds.
I've seen a couple guys capable of a 400+ raw bench. It's rare and probably impossible for an NBA player, they're too fucking tall and there arms are too long. And like Cressey mentioned, it's not worth the risk to their career. A bench press at that level would have limited value for an NBA player. That sort of exceptional ability indicates a huge investment of training time and priorities. It wouldn't make sense to pursue it.
Of the people I've seen capable of it, one was a former UT powerlifter. He's probably around 5'10", if that, and in the 230-250 lb range. The other was a fucking huge guy - probably 350+ pounds and not too tall - who stopped by the gym once. Must've been traveling because I've never seen him before or since. I saw that guy bust out an easy set of 12 with 365 pounds. It was a warmpup weight for him. Now that was freaky.
It's also funny/infuriating when, during the middle of the game, it'll list lifting stats for players with impossible numbers like:
Brian Orakpo
Squat - 500
Bench - 500
Deadlift - 385
I saw almost exactly that during a UT game last year. I forget the exact numbers, but they were very close to that. Orakpo's a freaky athlete but those numbers are all fucked up. The deadlift will always be greater than the squat unless the athlete's squat is high (and it always is) it's essentially impossible for the deadlift to be higher than the squat unless you're a) an exceptionally small woman - almot a midget - with teeny weeny hands or b) a powerlifter wearing a squat suit, in which case the numbers are BS cheater numbers anyway and also probably a high squat.
Also, a 385 deadlift for an athlete around 275 lbs is fucking pathetic weak. I can deadlift that much, and I'm not strong, haven't been training long, and weigh a lot less than 275.
http://ericcressey.com/bogus-workouts-and-the-official-blog-of
Bull shit abounds.
I've seen a couple guys capable of a 400+ raw bench. It's rare and probably impossible for an NBA player, they're too fucking tall and there arms are too long. And like Cressey mentioned, it's not worth the risk to their career. A bench press at that level would have limited value for an NBA player. That sort of exceptional ability indicates a huge investment of training time and priorities. It wouldn't make sense to pursue it.
Of the people I've seen capable of it, one was a former UT powerlifter. He's probably around 5'10", if that, and in the 230-250 lb range. The other was a fucking huge guy - probably 350+ pounds and not too tall - who stopped by the gym once. Must've been traveling because I've never seen him before or since. I saw that guy bust out an easy set of 12 with 365 pounds. It was a warmpup weight for him. Now that was freaky.
It's also funny/infuriating when, during the middle of the game, it'll list lifting stats for players with impossible numbers like:
Brian Orakpo
Squat - 500
Bench - 500
Deadlift - 385
I saw almost exactly that during a UT game last year. I forget the exact numbers, but they were very close to that. Orakpo's a freaky athlete but those numbers are all fucked up. The deadlift will always be greater than the squat unless the athlete's squat is high (and it always is) it's essentially impossible for the deadlift to be higher than the squat unless you're a) an exceptionally small woman - almot a midget - with teeny weeny hands or b) a powerlifter wearing a squat suit, in which case the numbers are BS cheater numbers anyway and also probably a high squat.
Also, a 385 deadlift for an athlete around 275 lbs is fucking pathetic weak. I can deadlift that much, and I'm not strong, haven't been training long, and weigh a lot less than 275.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Stuff
-I saw TV On the Radio at Stubbs last weekend. An OK show but a bit disappointing. I skipped the opening act, and didn't bother to try and shove my way up to the front before the main show. As far back as I was (about halfway), the vocals were too quiet. I've never been at a rock show before and thought, they should turn this up.
They also played a short set. Main set + encore was an hour and a half.
-Thunder picking third in the draft. I hope Memphis takes Thabeet and the Thunder can nab Ricky Rubio. He looks like the only high ceiling player in the draft this year after Griffin. The only interesting players in this draft are Griffin, Rubio, James Harden, and Stephen Curry (who will go lower than he should).
-Orlando winning a game off Cleveland at home? Impressive.
-Wandy continues to kick some major ass. The rest of our pitching staff is major ass.
-Louis CK is really fucking funny.
They also played a short set. Main set + encore was an hour and a half.
-Thunder picking third in the draft. I hope Memphis takes Thabeet and the Thunder can nab Ricky Rubio. He looks like the only high ceiling player in the draft this year after Griffin. The only interesting players in this draft are Griffin, Rubio, James Harden, and Stephen Curry (who will go lower than he should).
-Orlando winning a game off Cleveland at home? Impressive.
-Wandy continues to kick some major ass. The rest of our pitching staff is major ass.
-Louis CK is really fucking funny.
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